Sorry for the sparse updates.

I keep logging in and writing only to frantically jab backspace because I'm scared I'm gonna hurt people.

Theboyfriend and I are... surviving, to say the least. Is this relationship worth salvaging? Yes. Are the problems we have solvable? Not exactly. Till then, I'm just hanging on.

It hurts too that a year ago we'd only started dating (of course, not knowing the idiot still had an on-off girlfriend) and I'd posted this picture up of us. And all of you messaged me saying how cute he was and what a nice smile he had and whether he had any cute friends. I don't really like to look at this picture anymore. I look so young and hopeful and naive, probably still harboring silly ideals of love in my head.

One year later, I've grown into someone so jaded and detached from everything, it's frightening.

I keep getting hurt these days because people around me aren't censoring their words before they say something. Maybe I should stop being so goddamn sensitive but I can't help feeling like a doormat.

And you, I doubt you'll know it's you I'm referring to anyway but I think you've taunted me far enough. I don't know why you're doing this anyway especially when I'm on good terms with your girlfriend. I dislike conflicts or confrontations of any kind but believe me, I will bite back if provoked and I'm not exactly in a good mood these days.

I ought to go cook something. This one-meal-a-day diet has helped me shave off about 6 to 8 kg but I quickly start gaining if I let up. And what with my lurking PMS, I'm prone to feeling sorry for myself and holding a chocolate bar to my mouth and shaving off curl after curl with my teeth till it's all finished. It's kinda therapeutic, actually. Almost as good as fags. Almost.

Ah yes. Before I end, I forgot to post these up. They were taken almost a month ago actually. Excuse the boyfriend's effeminate pose. He's quite confused sometimes. Heh.




I love you so much but why do you make it seem like we're impossible sometimes? Will we see a year together? I hope so.

Lost the mood to club. Ngeh.